Parent Tip -- February, 2009

Raising a Successful Deaf Child

By Inga Park Okuna, HCDB Parent Educator

    What does it mean to have a successful deaf child?  I think all parents measure success for their children based on whether or not they reach certain goals.  Those goals vary depending on their values and their children’s interests and abilities.  Goals might include college, a career, ability to live independently, or becoming a political figure.  But most parents will agree on certain goals like being able to care for oneself, being able to understand what’s going on in the world, etc.  

I know a young deaf woman in her mid-twenties.  She has done laundry for many years, in fact, part of her job includes doing laundry.  But at her home, she filled the washing machine with many towels and set the washer to “medium”.  Of course, there wasn’t enough water and it strained the machine.  When I asked her about it, she told me she thought “medium” referred to the size of the pieces of laundry. When she looked at the towels, she estimated them to be of medium size.  She was stunned to learn that the small/med/large meant water level.  Why didn’t she know this?

Actually I have discovered she doesn’t know a lot of things including who is who in her extended family and why things happen in her family--all because there is a serious lack of communication.  It is very difficult for her to learn from her parents because they never learned sign language.  

Communication is key for learning about the world.  It is one way to help our children become independent, successful adults.  

Parent Tip -- May, 2007

Catch Them Being Good

By Inga Park Okuna, HCDB Parent Educator

    We tend to notice when our children are not behaving the way we want them to behave, but we often overlook it when they are behaving.  Pay special attention to the interactions you have with your children.  Count the positive and negative interactions. Unfortunately, negative interactions (“Stop that!”, “Don’t hit your brother!” “Sit nicely!”) tend to overwhelmingly outnumber the positive interactions.

    What is a child to do?  They quickly realize:   “If  I want attention…. I have to misbehave.  If I sit quietly, no one talks to me.  If I hit someone, I get a great reaction and lots of attention!”  

    Any behavior that gets attention, will tend to increase.  So if we want positive behavior to increase, we need to give lots of attention to the good behavior.  If you don’t already do this, try to catch them being good.  Nonverbal positive attention would include things like a smile, pat on the back, high five, thumbs up, or a hug. Some verbal feedback might sound/look like:  “thank-you,”  “good job cleaning up after yourself,” and  “Thanks for waiting quietly.”

    If it isn’t a habit to do this, you can put little happy face stickers in different locations around the house and every time you see one, give your children positive attention.